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Group: Forum Members
Active: 9/16/2010
Posts: 1 |
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Hello:
I am new to this forum and hope I am posting in the right place.
My 8-year-old daughter has pretty much given up sleeping. It started a year ago in September 2009. She started waking up in the middle of the night coming into our room and sleeping on our bedroom floor. Initially, we did not even know she was doing it. We would simply find her there in the morning. Over the next month or so, it went from 1-2 times per week, to every single night. We spoke to her teacher and her pediatrician, who both felt it was a phase that she would outgrow with time. So, we made her a little pallet on the floor and let her know that if she woke up and couldn't get back to sleep, she could come and sleep there. For the next several months, this happened every single night. However, all of us were getting plenty of sleep so we figured eventually she'd go back to sleeping through the night. NOT SO! As of today, she is sleeping on average 4-5 hours per night. Last night we were at the Children's Hospital doing a sleep study. Complete waste of time. She was on the monitor from 9pm-4am. In that time she slept from 10:30-12:45am. That's it. Her usual schedule is that she goes to bed at 9pm, falls asleep by 9:20-9:30, wakes up between 12:30-1:00 and is awake until 4:00-4:30. She then goes back to sleep until 7 when she gets up for school. Not only is she awake all night, but now she does not want to "be alone" while she is awake and wants us up with her. We have locked her out of her room and she bangs on the door for hours. We have spanked her, grounded her, tried incentive charts, rewards, bribery, you name it, we've tried it. We talked with a child psychologist who has tried to tell us that she is being manipulative. Bottom line, we are all miserable. She is wide awake during the day, does not nap, does not drink or eat caffeine, does not fall asleep or misbehave at school. We are EXHAUSTED. I do not know how much longer I can function with no sleep. ANY ideas would be appreciated and entertained. We're at a loss at this point  |
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 Posted 10/26/2010 9:28 AM |
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Group: Forum Members
Active: 10/26/2010
Posts: 1 |
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Hello Tired Mama,
I feel for you and the rest of your family, and also for your daughter as this cannot be fun for her, either.
I am not a child psychologist but my sister has a master's in counseling and works with children your daughter's age every day at the school where she is employed.
My sister would tell you that spanking and punishing her for this is not the answer. If she is doing this for attention or as some sort of manipulation, giving punishment is only going to reinforce this problem.
Try to think back to when the behavior started. Did something happen to trigger her into this new pattern of not sleeping? Did something happen to scare her?
If you have a specific question or two, I'll be happy to ask my sister for you.
You may get some relief with a natural herbal approach geared toward facilitating children's sleep, but if the problem is more behavioral based, I'm honestly not sure how effective that would be.
Best to you,
Elise |
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| Posted 10/27/2010 5:42 PM |
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Group: Forum Members
Active: 11/7/2010
Posts: 3 |
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I can understand your frustration and concern. However, I was more than a little shocked to hear that you have spanked your child for this! Physical punishment was proven long ago to be ineffective for behavior modification in children. It provides a satisfying outlet for the parents' anger, but the child is nothing but a defenceless victim. Likewise, locking her in or our of rooms and leaving her screaming is very detrimental to her emotional well-being. You are doing your daughter no favors with this kind of approach. Something is clearly disturbing her, and if the doctor has concluded there is nothing physically wrong with her then it is time you take a good hard look at your family situation. Something is emotionally disturbing your child at a very deep level, something so important that she will endure physical pain and emotional outbursts rather than change the behavior. Is she getting the unconditional love and support that every child needs to thrive? Are there issues with the relationship between Mom and Dad? Has something else changed in the family dynamic? Are there issues at school of which you are unaware? Is something happening with friends that you don't know about? You need to carefully examine the important people and situations in her life and find out what has gone so desperately wrong with her. And, although you may not like to face it, there is a very strong chance the problem may not lie with her but with her home situation. Until you find the root cause of this problem, which if not physical must be emotional, no amount of punishment will succeed. Something has deeply disturbed your daughter. Her behavior is not naughty and should never be treated as such-- it is a cry for help. I wish you much courage in doing the soul searching necessary to help her. |
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| Posted 12/28/2010 4:42 PM |
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Group: Forum Members
Active: 12/29/2010
Posts: 3 |
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| Not a good situation to be in, especially as she's growing older and should be getting more independent, you should try and get her into a habit like reading or listening to her ipod until she falls asleep, this might distract her from the fear of being alone. |
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Group: Forum Members
Active: 4/18/2011
Posts: 5 |
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First of all may I say how sorry I am for all your troubles, this is horrible for everyone. Please do not punish her. When I was 8 my sleep troubles began and I learned how to meditate which occupied me in those dark hours when everyone else was sleeping.We also went to the library and kept me stocked with books, I also had a radio in my room to keep me company. I hope you can sort out the origin of her troubles before it blows up into something even more dramatic...there IS help out there you just need to squeak loudly enough for someone to listen. Be gentle with her, make a plan to help her and stick with it.
meggietye |
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Group: Forum Members
Active: 5/10/2012
Posts: 1 |
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| OMG!!!! I have an 8 year old boy who has been to therapy, and nothing has worked. Therapist told me that a strick routine would help out and she also suggested a natural sleep aide, which he takes every night at 8pm. By 9pm he is out. The problem is that around 12-1am he is standing at my bed side saying he had a bad dream or he can't sleep. I have taken him back to his room and layed with him until he is asleep.A few hours later he is back up with the same problem. IDK what to do. I have spent many nights in his bed. I also have a 4 year old who says the same thing, minus the sleeping pill. If anyone has any advise to help, I am more than willing to try anything. |
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